I wonder if this ever happens on running forums?
Someone pops up to ask for advice on which trainers to buy. The questioner intends to start jogging to work, and may do a bit more running at the weekend if he finds he likes it.
The first post in reply points out that the only answer is for the questioner to go to his LTS (Local Trainer Shop), and try several to see which he likes running in the best.
Then someone should turn up and insist that the only proper choice is a hand sewn trainer built to his exact specification by an expert local cobbler.
Someone else should then post saying that for the sort of running the questioner does, he'd be better with a pair of heavy Dutch clogs, as they are virtually maintenance free, and can be left outside with no ill effects in all weathers. Pointing out that this is all the rage in Europe is optional, as is disparaging the use of a "sport" shoe for commuting to work or running errands.
Someone else should then post saying that as the questioner will mostly be running on the road, his best choice is a top of the range lightweight shoe, probably made at least partly from space age fabrics. The shoe will be uncomfortable in the wet, but the questioner should have a "hack" shoe for running in the wet anyway, as any fule kno.
Yet someone else should appear to say that the ideal choice is actually a track shoe. The spikes may be inconvenient, and a bit hard for the new runner to get used to, but they foster a zen-like connection with the road, or something.
At this point, the questioner should then say that he might run on canal towpaths occasionally. It is here that people should variously suggest fell running shoes (they do it all! and you can tour in them!) and walking boots.
All parties should then get the arse with each other and carry on an argument about whether the "true" do it all shoe is the fell running shoe or a comfy brogue.
By which point questioner will have gone to Winfields/ShoeZone/Brantano and bought a pair of those trainers that look almost like Adidas, but with one too many stripes.
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