STUFFE

BICYCLE DELIVERY - MATTRESS
Where else but Portland? You get a discount if you arrive by bike, and can have the mattress delivered by bicycle too. That's a hell of a trailer. (From Utility Cycling).

Also from Utility Cycling is this primer on running errands by bike.

JOSEPH ADOLPHE
Lines and Colors has a piece on this artist. At first sight, the portraiture looks fairly conventional, until you see the underlying patterns and textures. I love his pen and ink illustration in particular.

SHUTT SUMMER RANGE
There have been sneak peeks floating about of this range, but it was officially launched yesterday.

I've banged on about the benefits of sportwool previously - the jerseys are well priced, the material is sourced in the UK, and the jerseys are made here too. The red "ringer" club jersey is very smart in particular.

AIOTM! (aitom!)
It's back. Richard Herring's "As It Occurs to Me", a weekly comedy show/podcast returns for a second season this week. You can find the podcast here. (Bear in mind that it's usually *VERY* sweary & occasionally pushes the boundaries of taste - if you can handle that, its very funny though).

The show is based around what's happened to the cast over the previous week, and goes out unedited - last season was fantastic, with Richard's evident panic at writing a show's worth of new material every week becoming hilariously more evident as the season wore on. It's also probably the only outlet for Emma Kennedy's many stories about pooing in buckets (see season 1). If you're in London, you can see the show being recorded (as well as some extra material before the recording, if I remember right) at the Leicester Square Theatre, the link for tickets is here.

FUN?
Mikael at Copenhagenize set the cat among the pigeons with some of his periodic po-facedness recently. Fun? Ride your bicycle because it is EFFICIENT. Karl on Sea responds in this piece.

MOTIVATION
Doesn't everyone need a little Pascal now and then? (From cyclocosm).

MONKEY TRAIL
Nothing to do with me, but knobbly tyred types might enjoy this write up of the new trail at Cannock, from Redbikes.

STUFFE

THE MOUSTACHE BRACKET
home of "The System", Roscott Inc. brings this bit of typographic fun (and an ampersand eye test chart into the bargain). Those of you doing this year's "Mo'vember" may want to combine your love of facial hair and love of typography...

ASK RITTE
Pavé blog brings you an new feature, the advice column "Ask Ritte".

"If you can’t win the race, at least win the party. I heard that once from a guy in a San Diego bar, but I think he was talking about NASCAR."

You can mail your questions to paveblog@gmail.com - remember to put "Ask Ritte" in the subject line.

VELO ORANGE
Some new product listed on their website, including an interesting looking dynamo light from Shimano. In this light, a secondary bulb flashes as the dynamo turns, with the main light switching on as ambient light falls below a certain level. Looks like a good solution for commuting. Also in the post is a nice looking front rack, and a cleverly designed rear brake hanger.

GIRO D'ITALIA
Close now - Podium Café has a team round up here.

And you can try your own hand at being a director sportif at these fantasy pro-cycing games;
NRToone
Velogames

"TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK"
Cosmo comments on the recent bio-passport bans on Cyclocosm.

"From the horrific press release, which seems to have been optimized to avoid search engine results, to the lack of specific data on what makes these riders’ information abnormal, the UCI has created a massive information vacuum..."

I'm in full agreement with him in that the values placing these riders' passports outside the tolerances of the system need to be discussed in detail, otherwise we'll just have endless claim and counter claim.

STUFFE

The Paper Boneshaker - Original image from the makers' site.

THE PAPER BONESHAKER

Just how much does Japanese deisgner Shinichi Iwami love bicycles? Enough to have 1/24 scale kits laser-cut out of 0.5mm black paper with enough precision and detail that they require a scalpel, tweezers, glue, instructions, and nerves of steel to assemble.

More information here, at Bikehacks.

300 KM TO THE SEA
Just when I'm feeling pleased with myself for having done a couple of rides edging close to 60 miles, Redbikes puts me in my place by riding a colossal 192 miles. And this despite exploding saddle bags and having to make running repairs to his bike. Chapeau!

WHEN I WERE A LAD
BrokenTV, king of the bar chart, and producer of the epic "Top 100 TV shows of the '00s", turns his attention to board games. (Younger readers: Board Games are sort of like paper and card based Wii games. It's what we did for fun in the olden days, after telly had ended for the night, or if there was nothing on on the three(!) available channels).

This time, it's the turn of the TV Times board game. You can read the first in this series (covering the game based on Carla Lane's "Bread") here.

HOW OTHERS SEE US
Cycling Inquisition has been to London;

Instead, British cyclists look like Mr Bean, they favor day-glow attire and often ride a Brompton folding bikes.

The full article is here.

AND SO IT BEGINS?
Podium Café has a decent timeline of events in the recent unpleasantness surrounding Liquigas and Franco Pelizotti.

Liquigas have responded;

"Right now the evidence presented does not appear able to show with certainty, at a scientific level, illicit behavior by the athlete," Liquigas said in a statement on Tuesday.

Hopefully the evidence is going to be open to scrutiny, so the UCI scientists, and those in the employ of Liquigas can make their case. I'd be interested to see quite what values Liquigas are disputing.

There's a fantastic interview with Michael Ashenden on the site most of us know as the home of Toto NYVelocity, on the UCI's Biological passport system and how it works here.

"However I believe the point you are making is that if they had been doping, they should have been sanctioned via the Passport in the first place. The issue here is sensitivity - the Passport is the most sensitive tool we have available to detect doping once the banned substance has left the system. But it is not 100% sensitive - it won't catch every single rider who had doped. A large part of this is due to the margins of tolerance we must allow to ensure that riders are not wrongly accused of doping."

(My emphasis).

STUFFE

BADGER II
From BikeHugger, this Piet Mondrian saddle. So, you grab your Look bicycle, mount this on it, buy the "La Vie Claire" kit from Prendas, and your rolling Hinault/De Stijl tribute is complete.

SPEZI 2010
Velovision has this quick rundown of the recent SPEZI show, with LOADS of pictures.

Spezi is a show for Recumbents, Quads, Tandems, Trikes, Folding Bikes - those slightly out of the ordinary things that you don't see all that often in most bicycle media. Worth a look.

ARTS AND CRAFTS
Simon at La Gazzetta Della Bici shares this post on wrapping handlebars. From an original post by Simon's friend James, the method he uses to make custom finishing tape produces a *really* nice effect. (Manufacturer finishing tapes are crap, as James rightly points out, even, and it pains me to say so, Fizik's).

For wrapping the bars, I think it's hard to beat the guide on Park Tool - use the "self tightening" method described in their advanced tips. And do melt the ends of the finishing tape as both Park and James recommend.

TRAILERS

Biketrailerblog.com is always an interesting place to look for utility cycling inspiration.

They cover a DIY project today, this trail maintenance trailer.

"Dean found that walking to different parts of trails that required maintenance and carrying tools took way to much time out of the day, and sometimes when you only have one day a month do to trail work time is of the essence. Dean felt that pre-made retail bike trailers where not cost effective, So he decided to design a bike cargo trailer that he could attach to his mountain bike and that would allow him to carry the tools he needed for effective trail maintenance."

They also link back to an older post, using the BOB trailer for tool carriage (and as a barbecue grill, as it happens).

PORTLAND
I'm not sure it's even worth linking to BSNYC because EVERYBODY reads it, but on the offchance that you might miss his Portland write up...

"Yes, that's another Rivendell (with wooden fenders to boot), which people apparently even use to ride to the store here. I don't think I've ever seen two Rivendells in a single week in New York City, let alone in the space of a day or two, and I've certainly never seen one locked up outside. ... If I ever were to see more than one Rivendell in a day in New York I would just assume some kind of beard convention was in town."

It's vintage stuff.

JOE PARKIN
Urban Velo review Joe's new book, the follow up to "A Dog in a Hat". "Come and Gone" is;

"...not the book of a champion, but rather of the guy who had a few good rides over thousands of races. This is something that most bike racers can relate to. He talks about cycling in America’s competitive cycling heyday, the 90’s. Most of the races that he competed in are long gone."

LEADERSHIP DEBATE
Charlie Brooker reviews last night's;

"According to some polls, Cameron won, or at the very least tied with Clegg. Which is odd, because to my biased eyes, he looked hilariously worried whenever the others were talking. He often wore a face like the Fat Controller trying to wee through a Hula Hoop without splashing the sides, in fact."

Le Tour, Classifieds

I've often heard it said that pro-cycling teams sell some of their kit at the end of the season, as a way of raising funds and divesting themselves of unused bikes and parts.

Obviously the Tour de France doesn't mark the end of the season, but we found these interesting little snippets in the classifieds section of a little known cycling magazine.

(Or we strung together a lot of tenuous in jokes as an excuse to put another post up without doing too much work).

ITEMS OFFERED:
Team Astana Rider Trading Cards.
Complete Set Available, Happy to Split.
Contact: J. Bruyneel.

"Win Friends and Influence People" Book (French Edition).
Unread.
Contact: B. Hinault.

"It's a Family Affair" - Sly and the Family Stone (CD)
Contact: A. Schleck

"O Brother Where Art Thou?" DVD
Contact: B. Feilliu

"Tales of the Unexpected" DVD box set
2009 Italian and French editions available.
Contact: B. Wiggins.

"Nice Guys Finish Last" book.
Contact: K. Van Hummel

Stage Winner T-Shirt - Euskatel Euskadi Colours.
Medical Condition forces sale.
Contact: M. Astarloza

ITEMS WANTED:
Mountain/All Terrain Bikes (x9)
Can exchange for 9 slightly dirty Time Trial Bikes.
Contact: BBox Bouygues Telecom Team HQ.

Complete Team Kit.
Most pro-tour considered, Not Astana please.
Contact: A. Contador.

Stabilisers / Training Wheels, or Racing Trike.
Cash offered, or can offer exchange/part exchange (can offer road bike, tt bike (with torn handlebar tape and some scrapes from use) or several pairs of bib shorts (torn)).
Contact: D. Menchov

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:
Entire post inspired by a joke I saw on twitter about Denis Menchov offering several pairs of scraped up Rabobank bibshorts for sale.

Le Tour for Commuters

Cyclists are an unusual bunch (no pun intended) in many ways. Not least, in the UK, is the tendency for those following the sport of Pro Cycling to be cyclists themselves. (I could be wrong, but I don't see the same proportion of fans of other sports participating and spectating).

In the cycle commuter, the excitement of a grand tour, like the Tour de France, can bring out a certain enthusiasm for the course, and a desire to emulate your heroes in a way that can be inappropriate on the public highway.

Being a civic minded monkey, I thought it might be useful to outline a few ways to relive the Tour on your commute in a responsible way, rather than Silly Commuter Racing.

The Early Years

Maurice Garin (centre), Image from Wikimedia Commons

Given that the tour De France began over a century ago, you'd be forgiven for thinking that you had little hope of emulating the very first riders. But don't despair!

The Spares and Repairs Experience

"The sky is gloomy and washed out. Huge, grubby clouds extend to the horizon. It is as if nature itself were grieving. In the outskirts of Valenciennes, Eugene Christophe stands on the pavement. He pushes in front of him, the saddle towards the earth, his bicycle: the fork is broken. It seems to me a mighty lyre whose broken strings sing his final misery." -Henri Desgrange

In the early years of the Tour, riders were expected to carry their own spares, and effect any repairs required themselves. Obviously most of us bicycle commuters do this already. However, do watch out for people offering to lend you tools or assistance as you crouch by the road refitting your punctured tyre - should they help you, the commissaire will undoubtedly impose a hefty time penalty upon you.

You should also beware of allowing anyone to pump the bellows of the local forge for you if you need to fix your broken fork.

The Second Tour (1904) Experience

"The Tour de France is finished and the second edition will, I fear, also be the last." -Henri Desgrange

There are several ways the bicycle commuter can relive the uneasy atmosphere of the 1904 tour.

Instead of gesticulating futilely at the car that passes too close, imagine yourself to be Garin, or Pothier, who were attacked by masked men in a car trying to delay them on the first stage of the race.

Cycle paths (or the Etape Caledonia) provide ample opportunity to relive the 1904 tour's fifth stage, during which nails were strewn on the route. Users of cycle paths will have to substitute the (usually) ample broken glass for nails, but isn't it the spirit of the thing that matters? Extra authenticity could be gained by finishing your commute on two flat tyres, like eventual winner Henri Cornet, although this monkey advises that there is authenticity, and there is buggering up your wheels, and the former should be sacrificed in favour of not doing the latter.

The Octave Lapize Experience

"++Have crossed the Tourmalet on foot stop ++
++Road passable to vehicles stop ++
++No snow stop ++" -Telegram from Adolphe Steinès to Desgrange

Relatively few of us have a commute including anything much resembling the Tourmalet and Col d'Aubisque, beyond a general trend upwards. However, if you have a hill that leaves you knackered and grinding away in your lowest gear to ascend it, why not shout "Assassins!" at the top, to relive a moment of tour history from 1910?

Gear(s)

"I still feel that varable gears are only for people over forty-five.
Isn't it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles than by the artifice of a derailer?
We are getting soft...As for me, give me a fixed gear!"-Henri Desgrange

Those of you using fixed gear bicycles can be smug in the knowledge that you're reliving cycling early years, although if you're not also rocking tweeds and an enormous handlebar moustache, you've only gone part of the way. All is not lost for those of us with variable gears though - why not pretend that you're Stéphanois Panel, who experimented with variable gears in the 1912 edition of the tour? For full authenticity, ride a fixed for the next 25 years, as variable gears were banned in the tour until 1937.

The Modern Tour

Very much a feature of the modern tour, the doomed French breakaway allows riders that are French, or Jens Voigt to ride ahead of the pack for most of the stage, only to be reeled in and passed with 5-10km to spare (usually).

The Doomed French Breakaway Experience, #1

".... just discount this breakaway right? It has Voeckler in it, thus 99% doomed" -Poster on PodiumCafé (Voeckler went on to win the stage)

Easily done if you're a city rider.

Inevitably, there will be times when you find yourself ahead of a group of cars, simply because the motor vehicle isn't that efficient at getting through cities. Ride away, and then allow the "catch" to occur once the roads have cleared enough for the "peloton" to get to you.

The Doomed French Breakaway Experience, #2
Again, more easily done in the city.

In this case, the cars passing you are the break, and you're the peloton. Inevitably (unless you're riding at three in the morning) the cars will choke the street and slow to a stop - at which point the "peloton" makes the catch.

A fortuitous combination of traffic conditions can sometimes mean that you get the rare (although less so in the 2009 tour so far) occurrence of the successful breakaway, with your pursuers left fuming in your wake. In such a case, you're welcome to zip up your jersey and roll to the end of your commute with your arms aloft.

Although you may never live this down if your workmates catch sight of you.

The Mountains Experience
Again, the poor state of Britain's cycle paths comes to your rescue here. As you're unlikely to encounter crazed fans waving flags in your face, why not pretend that those branches and bushes the council fail to trim back every year are the flags of the Basques, or the trident of the devil? Ride through them with a grumpy look on your face, but don't get carried away and throw your bidon at them, there's usually nettles in the bushes as well...

Added authenticity can be gained if you can bring yourself to believe that the frequent graffiti along the path names famous local cyclists, in the style of the names painted on the roads of the tour. Hard to do when all you have to work with is a spray-painted Dazza, or Wayne, but needs must.

The Marcus Burghardt Experience

Lots of Britain's dog walkers seem keen to recreate this, with you in the position of Burghardt.

DON'T - it's not the dog's fault their owner is an idiot.

(See also, The Sandy Casar Experience)


The Astana Experience
For this, you'll need some sort of group ride - if you have a "Critical Commute" or similar organised ride with a dedicated leader, that could work.

Ride until the group splits while the back markers wait for traffic to pass, or a green signal. At this point, ride like fury on the agreed route, ignoring the protests of the designated leader. If possible, put "your people" on the front, and either;

a) explain to anyone that asks that "the road has decided who is the leader".
b) explain to anyone that asks that "my legs felt good, and it was a spontaneous attack to gain a few seconds".

Coming Soon;

The Denis Menchov Experience
In which you forget which way up your bike goes.

Repeatedly.

Cycling Proverbs

Born out of musings on avoiding slippy crisp packets, oddly enough, on this morning's ride, and mostly posted to Twitter.

Any person posting to a cycling message board asking for "which bike" advice as a new commuting cyclist MUST be recommended a hybrid costing not less than £700, and a further £200 worth of accessories by at least one respondent. The fact that the person asking is only commuting a 6 mile round trip shall not be taken into account.

The best time to realise that the rain *is* hard enough for you to need overtrousers is BEFORE you leave your house.

No matter what bike you have, or what kind of riding you do, someone, somewhere is waiting to tell you that it's the wrong bike.

No motorist's car is so old and rubbish that they won't say you'd be better off with one of those rather than your bike.

Most cyclists agree that taking up cycling to save money would probably be a good idea, in theory.

Surveys including the question "Why don't you cycle?" will never offer the answer "Because I'm too bloody lazy" as a possibility.

People who don't ride wonder why you'd want to on rainy days. People who do ride wonder why you wouldn't want to.

Junk food that you "earned" by riding all week tastes far better than junk food normally does. (Also applicable to beer, chocolates, takeaway curry, chinese food &c).

People will assume you're saving the planet and/or ridding the roads of Britain of cars even if all you want to do is enjoy riding in the sunshine.

No bike lane is so crap that motorists won't demand that you use it so that they don't have to reduce speed for half a second.

Riding your bicycle in ice is the best way of breaking your elbow and/or wrist (that doesn't involve interaction with other road users) yet discovered.

Whenever you decide to drive or take public transport, you will feel a deep sense of regret at the first cyclist you see enjoying their ride.

Anything shouted from a passing car will sound like "Blargh blah blaaaaargh" and is best not given too much thought.

Wearing any lycra at all allows people to jokingly call you "Lance Armstrong" and ask if you're off to the Tour De France.

Red light jumping, pavement riding cyclists allow any motorist to put your life at risk even if they've just watched you scrupulously obeying traffic law throughout your ride.

Injure any part of your body whilst cycling, and people will say that you should have been wearing a helmet.

Injure any part of your body whilst cycling, and people will say that it was good you were wearing a helmet.

The best day for a long ride will always be the day where you can't be out of the house for more than a couple of hours.

The further you are from your bicycle, the more ridiculous you look in lycra (unless you are a member of a glam rock band).

If you don't want to get wet, pack your waterproofs. Because then it won't rain.

No queue of stationary traffic is so close that a motorist won't overtake you to reach it.

The wet crisp packet is summer's equivalent of damp autumn leaves.